and I was crazy to follow along.
"It will be fun", he said.
"But, how will I understand?", I asked.
"You'll be fine! I'll be there to help you." he replied.
"But, I'm struggling to understand people in my OWN
country! How am I going to understand people in a
different one?!" And, round and round we went.
But, here we are. A hearing person and a deaf person
in Japan. Sure, it is fun. It's wonderful trying new foods,
seeing different things. But, then there are the things that
hearing people just don't understand.
What Husband failed to tell me (and couldn't tell me) was
that I would be reduced to tears before our first
week was even up. First, his boss dropped my
children and I off at a McDonald's without much
warning, while he drove away....... my husband in tow.
I had to order breakfast for three kids and myself from a
guy who could barely speak English. Amazingly, he got
our entire order correct! (In America, my order was
incorrect about half the time.....and the waiter/waitress
could speak and understand English perfectly. Go figure!)
But, a hearing person would not likely understand the
full stress of this situation.
"Go to the housing office and they'll show you what to do",
they said.
So, like a good wife, I marched over to the housing office
intending to look at houses and apartments available for rent.
I arrived, and they did not explain to me in detail what I
needed to do. To make matters worse, the gentleman who
seemed responsible for helping me was wearing a
paper surgical mask over his mouth and nose! (It is
custom to wear a paper mask in Japan when you are
ill to help prevent the spread of germs. Good idea? Yes.
Good for deaf people? No. It is it's own kind of hell.)
I ask the kind man a single question. I had to ask
him to repeat himself at least twice before I
understood what he was saying. After that, I closed
the big book of available rentals and left the office.
Any deaf person will quickly see my reason for just about
coming unglued.
"You just have to put yourself out there and you'll be fine",
they told me.
So, I tell Husband, "Let's go to your company Christmas
party! We'll finally be able to put faces with names."
Well, I had ordered a mini-mic so that I could take it
with me to this party and it hadn't arrived yet. But,
I thought, "That's alright. How bad can it be?" Oh boy!
It. Was. Loud. I could hardly understand anyone there.
Music was blaring. A hearing person told me, "Yes, it's
loud, I can hardly hear anything either." What hearing
people don't realize is that sound is still far different with
hearing aids verses normal hearing. Yes, my hearing
aids are some of the best, but it will never mimic
normal hearing.
There was also the written driving test we had to take.
No issues in and of itself, but they had a beep to let
everyone taking the test know when the next question
was coming up on a screen. The test was 50 questions....
this means 50 beeps. The problem was that the beep
sounded exactly like one used in the booth that you
sit in to take the hearing exam. Before long, tinnitus
kicked in, and I was growing dizzy.
So, what is a deaf person to do in these situations?
Maybe some folks would have handled the situations
better then I did, but I did the best that I knew how to do.
In the case of the "Drive Away Boss", well, I just need
to learn to extend more grace.
to learn to extend more grace.
As far as finding a place to rent and call home;
I just wait and go with Husband. Some hearing
people just kind of look at me strange. One person
asked, "You can't go without your husband?" I
got that "deer in the headlights" look. You know
the one! They ask a simple question, but your brain
is spinning with about 1,000 reasons why you don't
go property hunting on your own.... because you know
they would never understand. I'm thinking,
"They wear paper masks and I can't read their lips,
I can't understand the language, the females have
very soft voices.... this is out of my hearing range..."
and on and on it goes. It's just easier to go in pairs.
At the Christmas party I was fine until Husband had
to excuse himself. When he didn't return in 5 minutes,
I started to panic. The lights got dim, and the music
grew louder. Dim lights and loud music are a deaf
person's nightmare. I just sat quietly until Husband
got back.
And as for the written driving test. I turned my aids off
so that I could focus. I just kept a close eye on the
screen so I would know when the next question came up.
Maybe I could have handled some of these situations better.
I think that as time goes on, I'll gain more confidence,
and when that happens, then I'll be able to be more
independent. But, in the meantime, I'm going to need
to lean on Husband more then usual. I need his help.
I think everyone needs help in a new situation. Deaf or not.
I just happen to need a lot more to get me going.
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