Mother's Day Again

So Mother's Day is comin' around the corner again. 
I find myself taking more and more deep breaths lately.
I know that it won't be nearly as hard as last year. 
But, I still miss Her. 
I can't exactly order flowers and have them delivered 
to the cemetery. 


I know that I'll think of something though. 
Maybe I'll do what I did last year; release a balloon up to
Heaven for my mom. Or lay flowers at the campground 
where she used to go camping.


I might have flowers delivered to the women who have
stuck close to me this past year; even though they're not my parent. 
Or, maybe I'll just send flowers to every woman who has
meant something to me in my life! Now, that is a crazy, awesome idea!
Maybe I'll even send some anonymously. 


It's good to celebrate the living while they're still here. 
Flowers don't really do a whole lot of good once they're gone. 


So, here's to mothers, daughters, sisters, cousins, aunts and best friends......
May you have a beautiful and blessed Mother's Day!    :)

Re-decorating

Re-decorating. 
I want to do some re-decorating so much. 
But, I can't.
I want to take down the cloth shower curtain, 
but I can't.
I want to re-arrange some pictures, 
but I can't. 
I can't because my home was the last place I saw my mom alive. 
And, I don't want to change anything. 
I'm afraid to change anything. 
I'm afraid that it will hurt.
That I'll forget her. 


My solution? 
I want to move. 
I figure that if we move, it will be a fresh start. 
New textiles, new pictures, new things; with some of the
old mingled in together. 
A new location, new scenery, with a hint of the familiar.
Hopefully new friends, fresh faces, while not forgetting the 
loyal, familiar friends and family we leave behind. 

Dusting off the last of the old, stale grief.
Storing her in my heart where she belongs, 
and where she will be close and not forgotten.


I'm not running away. Just starting over.
Looking for a positive change.
I need something wonderfully different in my life.  
An awesome opportunity. 


My husband has applied for just such an opportunity. 
He applied for a new job in a new state. 
I try not to get carried away. 
But my heart cannot help but leap and hope in the 
unknown possibilities. 
Inspiration is being awakened again.
I know that this is all in God's hands. 
It's all about His will for us.
In the meantime, we wait patiently and pray.