Thursday, September 19, 2013

The Business of Marriage

Ok, so let me say this first: I DO love my husband with all my 
heart, only second to God.

That being said, Man, it is a lot of work to be married! And, some days, 
the very man that I'd lay my life down for, I could also strangle with both my hands.
There, I said it! 

I know it isn't his fault though. It's not mine either. It is our differences that 
drive me mad. It's not knowing how to make those differences work together 
to streangthen us that makes me crazy. It's my inability to see how God intended
our differences to fit and work together that make me think of reaching for
my frying pan and.........um, well, never mind that. But, you get the idea. 

I really don't know what God was thinking when He brought us together. 
Seriously!

Ok, let me give you the low-down......
Him: pack rat extraordinaire (but not a hoarder; he has his standards)
Me: minimalist

Him: he drives too fast
Me: I drive to slow

Him: homebody
Me: I can be a homebody, but I also want to parrrr-taaay!

Him: spend money
Me: save money

Him: Catholic
Me: Bunny believer (I jump to the church that feels like "home" to me, 
not because it is a certain denomination)

Him: ADD~ he can't remember what I tell him
Me: HOH (hard of hearing) I can't hear what he tells me

Him: Very patient
Me: Not

See what I mean? I also know that God puts people in our lives to teach us 
lessons about ourselves, but I seem to keep missing the lessons. 
I don't think that I'm being closed minded. I think that I just don't see.
That I'm "blind" to the lessons.  I'm physically deaf, and spiritually blind! 
What a combination! 

I read my Bible, searching for clues, and yet I still do not see them.
And, this drives me crazier still. 
I guess it's just that after nearly 16 years of marriage, I thought
I'd have it figured out by now. Instead, I still feel like I'm groping 
my way in the dark.  And, sometimes it feels like there isn't even any 
light for the step that I'm on. During that time, I can only sit, read, 
and wait.

But, I think that there is a clue hidden in the Love chapter. (1 Corinthians 13) 
This chapter has been on my heart the past few days. 
I read the words. I see the words. I just don't see how they answer my 
question of, "How do we make our differences work together?"
I'm still spiritually blind. But eventually though, I think that He'll let me "see"
the way to make our differences work for a greater good. 

In the meantime, I'm going to keep sitting, reading, praying, and waiting.

"But blessed are your eyes, for they see, and your ears, for they hear."
Matthew 13:16 (KJV)

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