The Homeschool Show

"It's the most wonderful time of the year....
with moms laughing and squealing....
With new books that bring promise of noooooo new tears....
It's the most wonderful time of the year...."

Ok, so it's that time of year... again.
Time to "Oooh" and "Aaaah" over all the books online, 
trying to figure out which ones will be best for 
each of the children. Trying to remember that the books
are for them, and not for me. (Just because I think that it
would be cool to study the great composers of music, doesn't
mean that they will. So unfair!)

So, when I do this each year, I go into, what I call, 
"The Zone". It's that space I enter in time that lasts for
anywhere from a few days, up to a month. I generally have 
several browsers going at once, searching for just the right 
curriculum at just the right price. I suffer extreme mood swings
during this period of time. Moods ranging anywhere from 
extreme delight and happiness, to the extreme opposite....
ripping my hair out because I just cannot seem to nail down
that one book that would be just the perfect addition to our
homeschool book collection. 

I search. I browse. I take notes. I search again. 
I think about each item. I browse some more. 
Searching and purchasing books for homeschool can be
comparable to being on a dating show. 
Here, let me show you.....

"WELCOME TO THE HOMESCHOOL SHOW!!!"
"I'll be your host for today!"
"Let's get started right away."
"Today, we have a mother of three looking for the 
perfect math curriculum for her teenage son. Let's see
if any of our curriculums will win her heart today!" 
"Let's introduce you to our three contestants."
"Curriculum Number 1 is old fashioned, and enjoys simplicity". 
"Curriculum Number 2 enjoys art, and will "wow" you with color."
"Curriculum Number 3 loves high tech, and is self sufficient." 
"Now, lets get on with the show.... here is our contestant....
give her a warm welcome, ladies and gentleman!" 

"Hello, curriculums."
"Hello."  
"Hi-ya." 
"Hey."

"Curriculum Number 1, I'm looking for a curriculum that
is well within my price range. Would you be able to meet that need?" 
"Why, yes Mam. I offer a solid, no frills curriculum that is well
within your price range. I'm simple, but cover all that your 
child will need."
"That sounds nice, Curriculum Number 1. Thank-you."

"Curriculum Number 2, in addition to low cost, the Curriculum I'm 
looking for will also have good graphics and bright colors. Can you
offer this to me, Curriculum Number 2? 
"I sure can! Each page has wonderful graphics and bright colors. 
But it isn't over stimulating either. I can also offer the low price 
as well, Mam." 
"Oooh! I like the sound of that."

"Curriculum Number 3, I'm looking for a Curriculum that will 
be pretty self explanatory, as I have other children to teach as well.
Is this something you would be able to do for me?" 
"Mam, I can explain each new concept to the child, 
I can read each problem verbally, and your child can 
follow along by reading each problem as we go. 
I have the bright colors you're looking for, I won't be 
over stimulating, I promise I am just what you need. 
"Hmmm. Number 3, are you within my price range?"
"Uh, no mam, I'm afraid I am not. But, I do believe you will 
be happy if you chose me."

"Well, what will it be? Curriculum Number 1? Curriculum Number 2?
Or, Curriculum Number 3?" 
"Hmm, I think that I'm leaning towards Curriculum Number 2.
Curriculums, is there anything else that you can tell me about yourselves
that may be helpful in aiding my decision?" 

"Curriculum Number 1?"  "No, mam."
"Curriculum Number 2?" "No, none that I can think of."
"Ok, Curriculum Number 3?" 
"Yes, mam, I can offer something else that may aid your
decision making. I can also correct your child's work, keep 
track of his scores, and at the end of the year, when he's finished
with me, all you need to do is print out his scores for the year. 
No need to sit correcting pages and pages of problems. I can save
you lots of time. So, what do you say?" 

*Squeals with delight*
"I know what I want!" 
"Well then, will you choose Number 1? Number 2? Or Number 3?
"I want........ CURRICULUM NUMBER THREE! 
It's the curriculum of my dreams!" 
"Well, there you have it, folks! We'll see you again next time!"

So, this is kind of what it seems like when I'm ordering
curriculum for the new school year. Crazy? Yes.
But I wouldn't trade it for anything.