The Business of Marriage

Ok, so let me say this first: I DO love my husband with all my 

heart, only second to God.

That being said, Man, it is a lot of work to be married! And, some days, 

the very man that I'd lay my life down for, I could also strangle with both my hands.

There, I said it! 

I know it isn't his fault though. It's not mine either. It is our differences that 

drive me mad. It's not knowing how to make those differences work together 

to streangthen us that makes me crazy. It's my inability to see how God intended

our differences to fit and work together that make me think of reaching for

my frying pan and.........um, well, never mind that. But, you get the idea. 

I really don't know what God was thinking when He brought us together. 

Seriously!

Ok, let me give you the low-down......

Him: pack rat extraordinaire (but not a hoarder; he has his standards)

Me: minimalist

Him: he drives too fast

Me: I drive to slow

Him: homebody

Me: I can be a homebody, but I also want to parrrr-taaay!

Him: spend money

Me: save money

Him: Catholic

Me: Bunny believer (I jump to the church that feels like "home" to me, 

not because it is a certain denomination)

Him: ADD~ he can't remember what I tell him

Me: HOH (hard of hearing) I can't hear what he tells me

Him: Very patient

Me: Not

See what I mean? I also know that God puts people in our lives to teach us 

lessons about ourselves, but I seem to keep missing the lessons. 

I don't think that I'm being closed minded. I think that I just don't see.

That I'm "blind" to the lessons.  I'm physically deaf, and spiritually blind! 

What a combination! 

I read my Bible, searching for clues, and yet I still do not see them.

And, this drives me crazier still. 

I guess it's just that after nearly 16 years of marriage, I thought

I'd have it figured out by now. Instead, I still feel like I'm groping 

my way in the dark.  And, sometimes it feels like there isn't even any 

light for the step that I'm on. During that time, I can only sit, read, 

and wait.

But, I think that there is a clue hidden in the Love chapter. (1 Corinthians 13) 

This chapter has been on my heart the past few days. 

I read the words. I see the words. I just don't see how they answer my 

question of, "How do we make our differences work together?"

I'm still spiritually blind. But eventually though, I think that He'll let me "see"

the way to make our differences work for a greater good. 

In the meantime, I'm going to keep sitting, reading, praying, and waiting.

"But blessed are your eyes, for they see, and your ears, for they hear."

Matthew 13:16 (KJV)

Moved Out/In

So, it was like we were at the bottom of the fourth quarter, the score was not
in our favor and we were seriously running out of time......

We had three days left on our contract with our agent to sell our house when
we finally got some Lookers. Then, after they looked at our house, they
negotiated with us, and we had a deal! That was the easy part. It all
went downhill from there.

Nearly everything that could go wrong, nearly did.
It involved inspectors, structural engineers (people who have a degree in
making your life a living hell, or helping you buy a sound house, depending
on which side of the fence you're on), transfer of photos malfunctioning
to said engineer, more packing then originally thought, not finding an apartment
before our move out date, and being transient.

Yet, through it all, I did see God's hand. Each time I could only see a dead end,
God opened up another door for us.  Each time I thought that something would
end the entire process, God saw us through it. It was incredible to watch as
it all unfolded.

So, we were "transient" for a week with no where to go, so we were temporary
residents of the Super 8 Motel. Our stuff stowed away in a storage unit.
We weren't done yet.......

We prayed over getting a single particular apartment because
nothing else would work. Here's why............
A.) Some places don't allow pets
B.) Some places didn't have three bedrooms
C.) Some places should have been shut down because they could
have been classified as slums.

And, once again, God came through for us. Paperwork was pushed through
more quickly then usual, and we were in before my husband had to go back
to work.

We have moved approximately 10 times during our sixteen years of marriage.
Some were short distance.... like across the hall, others were nearly
halfway across the country. But, I think that the move to our current
apartment was by far the hardest move we've ever done. On every level:
emotionally, physically, and time-wise. We've only owned two houses.
But, this was by far the hardest one to sell. And, it was also the most
difficulty we've ever had finding an apartment.

The first eight years of our marriage were like a crazy roller coaster ride.
We were job hopping, going from one place to another. Trying to figure out
how to carve out a life in this world. That is when we moved the most.
The second eight years were the complete opposite......
we lived in a small mid-western town surrounded by corn.
Now, we're back in an apartment, just like when we started
our new life together. (Ok, it isn't exactly the same.
We have a few kids in tow with too many toys trailing behind.)
But, I'm excited to see what the next 8 years bring our way.
I hope it's another fun-filled roller coaster ride!

"For I know the plans I have for you", declares the Lord, "plans to 
prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."
~ Jeremiah 29:11 (NIV)

 

Waiting In Line

I've still got "moving" on my brain. 
I was thinking about it some more, and came up 
with another analogy. 

I'm standing in line. It's a very long line. I am waiting patiently.
Waiting for my turn. And, all the while, I'm waiting for God 
to move us to a new and wonderful location. I pray. I wait. 
I pray some more. Nothing happens. I pray some more. 
I wait some more. 

Well, then, after waiting a while, one person I know, gets to 
move up ahead of me to the front of the line. They relocate
to another place. Then, pretty soon, another person moves 
out of state. I'm still waiting in line. Waiting for our turn to move.
We've already done all that we can do. We've got ourselves an agent.
We have a good sized sign in the yard. We have some nice pictures
of the property online. So, now we must wait. 

But, you see, each time another friend, or another acquaintance 
gets to move, it feels like they're jumping the line. They haven't 
been waiting in line as long as we have. They have not been praying, 
waiting, and praying some more for a move as we have. One person
is moving practically spur of the moment. 

Don't get me wrong. I am happy for all of those folks who want
to move, and get to fulfill their dream. Truly, I am. But, I also 
cannot help wondering, "What about us? When will it be our turn?
When will we finally make it to the front of the line?" 

It is hard to keep our spirits up. It feels that we've been forgotten
by God. I know that we have not. But, sometimes, that is how it feels.
And, it is hard to watch others go ahead in line, while I'm still waiting 
for my own turn. Frustrating even. But, there is nothing I can do 
because it is their turn. 

So, while I wait in line, I'll continue praying to God, praising Him,  
and pining for the chance to rent a U-haul. 

The Business of Waiting

You know, it seems that we human beings sure wait an awful lot.
We wait in line. Wait in traffic. We wait for our turn. 
We wait for a phone call. We wait to hear back from the doctor. 
From the plumber. From our teenager. 
We're waiting. Always waiting for something. 

Waiting is hard business. And, most recently, we're waiting
to sell our house. Waiting for God to bring us the right buyer 
for our home. We've been waiting for nearly a year without 
much success. And, at times, I find it discouraging, heartbreaking, 
and sometimes, just down right annoying. 

I imagine that waiting while trying to sell our home is similar to a couple
who are trying to conceive a child. They want to have a child, they are
trying to have a child. Everyone around them are getting pregnant, 
having children. More then one, even. Yet, the childless couple still wait.
And............................. wait. 

That is how I feel. We want to move. We are trying to move. 
But, "trying" to move really means to wait. Because, after we contact an agent, 
throw up a sign in our yard, and post pictures online, what more can we do?
Not a whole lot. So, we wait. Everyone around us are moving. They're even 
moving more then once. Yet, here we are. Waiting.............

In Jeremiah 29:11, the Lord tells us: 
                                         "For I know the plans I have for you,"
                                         declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you
                                         and not to harm you, plans to give you 
                                         hope and a future." 

Sometimes, I wish the Lord would put those plans into action now, 
especially if they involve selling our house. But, He tends to do things
in His time. In the meantime, we can only continue to pray, 
and............wait. 

The Homeschool Show

"It's the most wonderful time of the year....
with moms laughing and squealing....
With new books that bring promise of noooooo new tears....
It's the most wonderful time of the year...."

Ok, so it's that time of year... again.
Time to "Oooh" and "Aaaah" over all the books online, 
trying to figure out which ones will be best for 
each of the children. Trying to remember that the books
are for them, and not for me. (Just because I think that it
would be cool to study the great composers of music, doesn't
mean that they will. So unfair!)

So, when I do this each year, I go into, what I call, 
"The Zone". It's that space I enter in time that lasts for
anywhere from a few days, up to a month. I generally have 
several browsers going at once, searching for just the right 
curriculum at just the right price. I suffer extreme mood swings
during this period of time. Moods ranging anywhere from 
extreme delight and happiness, to the extreme opposite....
ripping my hair out because I just cannot seem to nail down
that one book that would be just the perfect addition to our
homeschool book collection. 

I search. I browse. I take notes. I search again. 
I think about each item. I browse some more. 
Searching and purchasing books for homeschool can be
comparable to being on a dating show. 
Here, let me show you.....

"WELCOME TO THE HOMESCHOOL SHOW!!!"
"I'll be your host for today!"
"Let's get started right away."
"Today, we have a mother of three looking for the 
perfect math curriculum for her teenage son. Let's see
if any of our curriculums will win her heart today!" 
"Let's introduce you to our three contestants."
"Curriculum Number 1 is old fashioned, and enjoys simplicity". 
"Curriculum Number 2 enjoys art, and will "wow" you with color."
"Curriculum Number 3 loves high tech, and is self sufficient." 
"Now, lets get on with the show.... here is our contestant....
give her a warm welcome, ladies and gentleman!" 

"Hello, curriculums."
"Hello."  
"Hi-ya." 
"Hey."

"Curriculum Number 1, I'm looking for a curriculum that
is well within my price range. Would you be able to meet that need?" 
"Why, yes Mam. I offer a solid, no frills curriculum that is well
within your price range. I'm simple, but cover all that your 
child will need."
"That sounds nice, Curriculum Number 1. Thank-you."

"Curriculum Number 2, in addition to low cost, the Curriculum I'm 
looking for will also have good graphics and bright colors. Can you
offer this to me, Curriculum Number 2? 
"I sure can! Each page has wonderful graphics and bright colors. 
But it isn't over stimulating either. I can also offer the low price 
as well, Mam." 
"Oooh! I like the sound of that."

"Curriculum Number 3, I'm looking for a Curriculum that will 
be pretty self explanatory, as I have other children to teach as well.
Is this something you would be able to do for me?" 
"Mam, I can explain each new concept to the child, 
I can read each problem verbally, and your child can 
follow along by reading each problem as we go. 
I have the bright colors you're looking for, I won't be 
over stimulating, I promise I am just what you need. 
"Hmmm. Number 3, are you within my price range?"
"Uh, no mam, I'm afraid I am not. But, I do believe you will 
be happy if you chose me."

"Well, what will it be? Curriculum Number 1? Curriculum Number 2?
Or, Curriculum Number 3?" 
"Hmm, I think that I'm leaning towards Curriculum Number 2.
Curriculums, is there anything else that you can tell me about yourselves
that may be helpful in aiding my decision?" 

"Curriculum Number 1?"  "No, mam."
"Curriculum Number 2?" "No, none that I can think of."
"Ok, Curriculum Number 3?" 
"Yes, mam, I can offer something else that may aid your
decision making. I can also correct your child's work, keep 
track of his scores, and at the end of the year, when he's finished
with me, all you need to do is print out his scores for the year. 
No need to sit correcting pages and pages of problems. I can save
you lots of time. So, what do you say?" 

*Squeals with delight*
"I know what I want!" 
"Well then, will you choose Number 1? Number 2? Or Number 3?
"I want........ CURRICULUM NUMBER THREE! 
It's the curriculum of my dreams!" 
"Well, there you have it, folks! We'll see you again next time!"

So, this is kind of what it seems like when I'm ordering
curriculum for the new school year. Crazy? Yes.
But I wouldn't trade it for anything. 

If Jesus Came To My House

Jesus is my best friend. 
So many times, though, I wish I could actually see Him 
with my eyes. Hear His voice. Touch His hands.
I wish we could sit together and talk like best friends do.

If Jesus Came To My House

If Jesus came to my house, 
I'd throw wide open the door, 
I'd throw my arms around His neck, 
I'd hug Him tight, 
and sob with tears with joy. 

If Jesus came to my house, 
I'd be so thrilled to see Him,
I'd call to all my children, 
and we'd happily lead Him inside, 
we'd offer Him a seat while we gathered all around.

If Jesus came to my house, 
I wouldn't care if the house were messy,
or needed cleaning, 
We'd be so happy to see Him, 
that I'd let the dishes and the laundry sit aside. 

If Jesus came to my house, 
He'd be patient with the children, 
listen to all that they had to say,
He'd laugh and play with them, 
and let the littlest one sit upon His knee.

If Jesus came to my house, 
I'd pour my heart out to Him,
We'd talk just like old friends do,
He wouldn't answer all my questions, 
but tell me that some answers are not for me to know.

If Jesus came to my house, 
He'd talk about my mom, 
and what she does in Heaven, 
I'd tell Him to send her my love,
And He would nod and smile.

If Jesus came to my house, 
the time for Him to leave would come all too quickly, 
I wouldn't want Him to go,
I'd cry again and hold Him tight, 
for as long as He would let me.

If Jesus came to my house, 
He'd smile and wave good-bye,
He would leave the same as He had come, 
rising up on a pillar of clouds, 
back up toward Heaven.  

If Jesus came to my house, 
I'd watch Him until He disappeared, 
I'd smile and wave, 
I'd whisper, "Good-bye", 
before turning to go back in.


"Ask, and it shall be given you;
seek, and ye shall find;
knock, and it shall be opened unto you"
   ~Mathew 7:7

Worldly Wisdom

I was reading my devotional when I came across this verse today.

"For the wisdom of this world is foolishness in God's sight."
~Corinthians 3:19

Wow!
As a person with a profound hearing loss, there is much that
I miss out on. And, then there is much that I choose to ignore.
Sometimes, it's both. I miss it, and I don't care.
In today's society, it would seem that everyone should take 
notice and care about the latest gossip. 
What is the name of Tom Cruise's most recent wife?
Who is Taylor Swift really singing about in her most recent hit song?
What is the latest fashion style that is sashaying down the runway?
I honestly don't care.

But, people would have me think otherwise. 
I've been gawked at because I wasn't familiar with a hot name in Hollywood,
I've been laughed at when I didn't know what certain sexually explicit 
urban slang meant, and they were stunned when I confessed that I 
never watch daytime soap operas. 

But in my opinion, It. Doesn't. Matter.

Yes, I should probably watch the World News, but we don't 
have cable, and when the World News is available, my family and I
are sitting around our table, eating dinner together. 
Most of the events that occur today, the events that make it into the news,
will likely be forgotten within a few days. Only to be replaced with 
the next string of shocking headliners. But, my children will have 
memories of what happened as we ate around the dining room table 
every single night. And, in my book, that is most important.   

I used to feel awkward and guilty for not keeping up with the latest gossip. 
But, after reading today's verse, I see now that I am not the fool. 
The foolish ones are the people who mock me for not keeping up 
with the latest celebrity headlines and who believe that wisdom 
lies in knowing the latest gossip.